Episode 37: Command Sgt Maj (Ret) TJ Baird: Trophy Husband, Public Speaker, Leader, Author

Welcome to an enlightening episode of Tactical Transition, where your hosts, Cyndi Po and Michele Lewis, engage in a candid conversation with TJ Baird, a recently retired U.S. Army Command Sergeant Major and former Command Senior Enlisted Leader from the National Geospatial-Intelligence Agency. TJ, who served for over 30 years, brings a unique perspective on transitioning from military life to a new, passion-driven career.

Here are some key takeaways from our insightful discussion with TJ Baird:

• A Unique Path Post-Retirement: TJ, married to Command Sergeant Major Joanne Nman and father to Veronica, made a deliberate choice not to pursue a traditional 9-to-5 job after his extensive military career. He and Joanne had decided years ago they wanted a different retirement.
• Founding Warrior Dad Stories: TJ established Warrior Dad Stories, a disabled veteran-owned business. Through this venture, he authored two emotionally driven illustrated books: Warrior Dad, reflecting the duality of being a warfighter and devoted father, and The Adventures of Cool Bear, a heartfelt journey inspired by deployment and his daughter's gift of a small bear.
• Life's Leadership Lessons: TJ also shares "Life's Leadership Lessons" on LinkedIn, drawing on his vast experience, including successes and failures. His dog, Macaroni, is a frequent and beloved subject in these posts.
• The "Trophy Husband": Michele and Cyndi playfully highlight TJ’s self-proclaimed status as a "trophy husband," a title he embraces with humor and dedication, focusing on cooking, cleaning, and staying in shape for his wife.
• Writing as Therapy and Passion: TJ has always enjoyed writing and found it "very therapeutic". He uses visual descriptions, poems, and haikus as a form of art therapy, particularly for traumatic brain injury (TBI). He encourages others to discover and pursue their passions, noting that military life often tends to overshadow personal interests.
• Overcoming Self-Consciousness: TJ admitted he initially kept his passion for writing private, fearing it didn't fit the "big tough warrior" persona expected in alpha-dominated military units. Cyndi emphasized that "you can still be badass and ride a haiku".
• Embracing the "Me" Mindset: Transitioning from a "we team mindset" to focusing on personal aspirations can be challenging for military leaders. TJ stressed the importance of having a plan and knowing what you don't want to do in retirement, highlighting his choice not to work for the government.
• Unexpected Realities of Retirement: TJ shared several things people don't often tell you about retirement:
  • Profound Tiredness: After decades of service, your body and mind are "very tired". He strongly advises taking a break before starting a new job to allow for rest and reset.
  • Loss of Benefits: Automatic TSA Pre-check is revoked upon retirement, though easily regained. Similarly, the annual fee waiver for American Express Platinum cards for active-duty military is lost.
  • ID Card Priority Shift: His military retirement ID card places him at the bottom of priority lists, but his military dependent ID card (as a spouse) gives him "one bravo" priority for travel and services.
• Post-Employment Rehabilitation Evaluation Program (PREP): TJ is currently attending the VA-run PREP program in Tampa for TBI treatment. He described it as an individualized, comprehensive program (art, music, physical, and clinical therapies) that, though initially "uncomfortable" due to its intense focus on the individual, has been "amazing." He uses the word "reforged" to describe the positive transformation, emphasizing that it's a "warrior word" for polishing who you are.
• Fun Fact: TJ has an identical twin brother, Derek, who is still serving in the Army; they are often mistaken for one another. They are co-writing a leadership book based on vignettes from their lives.

TJ's journey offers valuable insights for anyone navigating a significant life transition, emphasizing the importance of self-discovery, passion, and intentional planning.